King Of All Media - Do Not Touch That Penis - Shortcut Method of Life On King Of All Media


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Anyone touching my son's penis in his first fifteen or twenty years of life is subject to the death penalty. The rule of law does not and never has extended automatic assignment of other people to solve problems of human deviation from acceptable social norms, whether it relates to money or conduct. Only speech enjoys that highest assignment of freedom where no man may trammel another.

Any man who puts my son's penis in his mouth for any reason whatsoever is subject to a death brutally communicative to any who would consider doing likewise.

First, the claim that this act constitutes a declaration to the concepts of devotion to an Almighty creation goes far beyond bizarre, and into the criminally deviant. A child who has been alive just eight days has zero comprehension of any of the meanings; conscious only of the single most overwhelming physical pain that child will ever likely encounter.

Naturally, those who shine simple, real, factual flashlights of revelation upon this matter are accused of heresy and worse. The fastest way to stem this intolerable perversion of religion is for citizens to be brave. When someone accuses someone else of being irreligious or to be shunned for nothing more or less than a belief founded on logic, they must be either ostracized or otherwise erased from public view. This doesn't really apply to Americans, who have been, in all fairness, trained to possess neither moral character nor the courage of their convictions.

While serving with the Air Force in Okinawa after a stint in combat in Korat, Thailand, it was almost instantly shown to be true that U.S. Marines, alone, tend to be either brainless or spineless. Working together, they present the exact opposite, both intelligence and great strength. They are a fine microcosm of Americans.

In the privacy of their homes, Americans routinely kowtow and bend to the pettiest of authorities and pressures. Let's look at some of the most obvious examples that provide firm foundation for admittedly inflammatory statements that are no less true for the offense that will surely be felt by many.

So, you own your own home. Maybe a tenth of an acre, maybe ten acres, maybe a hundred acres. It IS your house, right? Yet, if you want to put a weather vane or a satellite dish or even an antenna on the roof of YOUR home, you're told you have to ask permission to do so, and then pay somebody else an actual license to put that antenna up. Now, by any legal definition, that is extortion, because if you fail to pay the extortinist's demands, you are subject to being imprisoned, although you've committed no crime against anyone. Is that worse than being told you have to pay a hundred and fifty dollars for NOT using your car, NOT driving your car, NOT polluting the environment or adding to traffic jams, NOT running people over or exposing them to the same? For what crime? Well, someone put a painted line along a curb, and your car is sticking out nearly six full inches over the yellow line on the curb. So, you are commanded to pay a hundred and fifty dollar fine for not using your car. Heaven forfend your parking meter should expire ninety seconds before you get there. Wham! Wham! "Fifty dollars, ma'am." For not driving.

You allow other people to tell you what you can and cannot say on the radio or tv, even though these broadcasts are provided for free, depriving any listener of a right to expectations. Turn the dial or turn off the receiver; you are not being physically forced to view the broadcast. As offended as I personally felt, on hundreds of occasions, there were many great laughs and tender moments in 178 months of listening to Howard Stern. Although he never uttered a dirty word, although he generated more money for his advertisers than the next fifteen top broadcasters combined, although he broke or shattered record after record, with books, movies, tv and radio shows... he was hounded off the air. Corporate criminals routinely walk away with millions. Russel Crowe smashed a man in the face with a telephone and walked away because of a corrupt District Attorney and State Attorney General, but Howard Stern was forced off the air. How long will you allow petty people to interfere with your prosecution of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and empowerment for you and your loved ones? Postscripturally, the man who knocked out the King of All Media? The rich, fat, spoiled son of disgraced national hero. So, Stern got a deal paying him two million dollars for two hundred and fifty weeks. No, not total. Two million per week for 250 weeks to go private.

Nineteen million people spending three to five hours per day with one man for up to twenty years? So sorry.

The king is dead, long live the king.

Who knocked out the King of All Media? Who took my daymate's freedom to speak?

Amid the offense, the line crossed, the outre made banal, the King of All Media Had It

So what would cause the king of all media to walk away?
How could more millions matter to someone making a million per week already?
To give up at least sixteen to seventeen million daily listeners, plus several million passive or "accidental" listeners, one must say, "Long Live The King ... even if the king is dead and it makes no sense to even say "Long live the King."
Nevertheless, wth respect to Howard Stern, long live the king, may he rest in peace. How many laughs? Of the many hundreds of tributes we all get to hear in life, Howard Stern displayed himself as the true King of All Media just before he walked away from the title and all it implied and promised. No tribut you have ever heard in your life or ever will hear again will bring you closer to tears than the stunning, thoroughly hankie-wrenching tribute, too brief in its few minutes, to the late and so great Rodney Dangerfield, one of the three or four funniest humans of all time. People who hated them could not stop themselves from laughing. When Caddyshack came out, none of us in the theater were likely to soon forget the whole building shaking just from the laughter. Five hundred people laughing as hard as they can, far past the voluntary state, where you can hardly breathe because each laugh's diminishing wave is slammed with another comment in the same sentence that is so funny you fall down the hill of self-control again. People like Joe E. Lewis or Rodney Dangerfield, early Woody Allen, and others, including Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, George Carlin, have a special gift.

As unusual as this gift is, the ability to touch people so intimately as to cause them to lose physical control, which laughter certainly is and nothing less than, is a critical treasure in life. From long ago days of a twenty-something Jewish guy from Long Island pretending to be the ultimate Italian urbanite and pulling it off for many years until blowing a joke on national TV), to the very funny and decidedly insane Pat Cooper, this gift was presented to an enormous audience by Howard Stern. Like national treasures that were not kept selfishly locked away for the few or less to enjoy, a title such as "King Of All Media" is fairly apportioned, and fully, to Howard Stern.

Although CarTalk, 60 Minutes, and the Simpsons proved to be the three best regular broadcasts of the entire century since radio's nationalization, and as grateful as many of us are to have enjoyed so many of each, Howard Stern is the only one who exceeded all expectations in venue after venue after firing after medium changes and crossovers.

Despite the burdens in the manner of sidekickery, the intelligence of his approach in knowing she'd be the ultimate shield for him - against his own unpleasant inclinations and words. The formula certainly worked because the cultural and geographical changes did not cut the King of All Media, only cemented him further to millions of us. Then, he left, relatively alone, long live the king in never-never land, because he died in this one.



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